As Thanksgiving approaches, I find myself reflecting on a topic that many Asian professionals navigating Western work environments might overlook: the practice of expressing gratitude openly. Growing up in East Asian culture, gratitude was something felt deeply but often left unspoken—a stark contrast to the explicit expressions valued in the West. This realization didn’t come easily. My personal journey from keeping gratitude guarded at heart to openly expressing it was shaped by pivotal experiences early in my career.
A Flashback: Gratitude, Unspoken but Felt
My first job in China was with a U.S. semiconductor company, where I worked under a seasoned Chinese executive with extensive experience in American organizations like Intel and Micron. My supervisor, Jerry, embodied a blend of Chinese humility and American openness, mentoring me in ways that went beyond my expectations of an intern.
He often forwarded me resources for market research, held regular one-on-one check-ins, and arranged for me to shadow a Business Development Manager on client visits to Guangdong. He even included me in a team-building trip to Suzhou during my first week—a gesture I found both surprising and generous.
As my internship came to an end, I worked up the courage to ask Jerry for feedback during a dinner. His words have stayed with me ever since: “When others show you kindness, you need to be sensitive and express gratitude.” I was taken aback. Of course, I was grateful. I had been quietly appreciative of his mentorship the entire time. But I realized I had never openly expressed it—something Jerry, familiar with both cultures, recognized as a missed opportunity.
Why Openly Expressing Gratitude Isn’t Always Natural
When we look at the values behind different cultural norms, especially those between collectivist and individualist societies, we can see why gratitude is often expressed differently. In collectivist cultures, like those in East Asia, boundaries between people are more fluid, leading to indirect communication. People may hesitate to be vocal, aiming to “save face” or avoid discomfort. Some typical ways of expressing gratitude are returning someone a favor and gifting. When my parents stay with me recently and made coffee for me every morning. It felt awkward to say “Thank You” out aloud. Instead of saying “Thank you”, I tend to say things like “Oh wonderful, you already made coffee for me!”
In contrast, in Western cultures, where individualism is more pronounced, expressing gratitude or seeking forgiveness is often done explicitly to ensure the message is clear. The common phrase “no need to thank me” in the East is replaced by an enthusiastic “you’re welcome” in the West.
Learning the Art of Expressing Gratitude
Fast forward 13 years, and after a decade of working in the U.S., I’ve learned to be more vocal in expressing my gratitude. It struck me—yes, I was grateful, but I had been keeping it all to myself, never verbalizing it.
I learned this from the best. One of my early-career supervisors, Emily, exemplified how to express gratitude beautifully. Emily is the owner and lead brand strategist of Root + River. As a passionate, creative Marketing executive, she loves turning emotions into words. She would often leave me thank-you notes on my desk after a long week or when I completed a big project. These small yet meaningful gestures conveyed more than appreciation – they build trust, strengthened our relationship, and made me feel truly valued.
Emily’s thoughtful acts went beyond words. I remember once when we were preparing for a conference, working with a new CRM platform. After lunch one day, I found a yellow-striped notebook on my desk, matching the shirt I had worn earlier. Another time, she gave me a cupcake after learning I had never tried one before. On Chinese New Year, she surprised me with a hand-written card featuring traditional Chinese design elements that reminds me of home.
These small but meaningful gestures conveyed the same powerful message: she honored my work and valued me as a team member. That’s when we start to build real trust.
Building Bridges Through Gratitude
Inspired by Emily and my own journey, I now make a conscious effort to express gratitude in ways that are authentic to me yet resonate in a multicultural work environment. This includes:
- Publicly acknowledging colleagues’ contributions.
- Sending personalized thank-you emails or hand written cards
- Taking a moment to thank someone in real-time.
- Sending gift baskets or gift cards to partners who add value to my work.
These acts not only foster a positive workplace culture but also bridge cultural differences, creating stronger, more cohesive teams.
Closing Thoughts
I’ve been pondering how the simple act of expressing gratitude can shape relationships in the workplace. It’s not just about saying “thank you,” but about fostering a culture where appreciation is felt and shared openly, to make the other party feel their efforts are seen.
In my early career, I often kept my gratitude to myself, believing my efforts were enough to show my appreciation. But over time, I’ve learned that putting those feelings into words can strengthen trust and collaboration. It’s not just a Western practice; it’s a universal tool that builds meaningful connections.
As we move into this season of giving thanks, I’m reminded that expressing appreciation—whether big or small—creates a ripple effect in the workplace. It enhances relationships, motivates teams, and ultimately strengthens the foundation of any organization.
Teak & Tale 
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